by Courtenay Monfore | Aug 3, 2020 | Blog, Brainspotting, Relationships, Trauma
You get upset. He blows up. She shuts down. The next day you can’t even remember why it bothered you so much. We’ve all been there, even therapists (we’re no more immune than anyone else). Here’s what I tell my clients about trauma and relationships, and the ways it...
by Courtenay Monfore | Jul 13, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Trauma
Everyone has experienced pain and hurt at some point in their lives. We have all felt like our trust has been compromised, and we wonder if we will ever be able to trust again. Those experiences can be very painful, and the feelings are completely normal. You are...
by Courtenay Monfore | Jul 6, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Therapy, Trauma
Shame is believing there is something innately wrong with us. Sometimes we don’t even recognize that how we are showing up in life is because we are full of shame. Until one day, shame makes and keeps us sick. Or we find ourselves stuck doing the same things over and...
by Courtenay Monfore | Jun 27, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
Not long ago, I had a triggering conversation with my partner (yes, therapists are human and have triggering conversations too). But rather than going in on him, I said, “I need time to process what I’m feeling. At the time, I was not sure which one of my selves (the...
by Courtenay Monfore | May 11, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Trauma
Often times, months after you stop speaking to your abusive partner, your insecurities can remain on a loop in your head: “Why does everyone always leave me? Everyone abandons me.” The traumas you know your partner had experienced can pull you back to worrying...
by Courtenay Monfore | Apr 27, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Brainspotting, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
There is no shortage of ways past trauma can show up in your present world. A scent or sound can trigger a flashback or a brief conversation with an abusive relative who is still in your life can knock you off course for days. Your heightened reactive experiences as a...
by Courtenay Monfore | Mar 23, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
It is easy to succumb to fear in the face of uncertainty and unpredictability. Here are 10 ways we can stay centered, refrain from succumbing to our worst fears and be better prepared for whatever our collective future holds. Know the facts. My advice for coping is...
by Courtenay Monfore | Mar 9, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Trauma
Toxic relationships don’t just apply to romantic partnerships. Sometimes, friendships with people can turn out just as abusive and damaging. Rather than bringing company and comfort to your life, a toxic friendship will bring exhaustion and frustration. While...
by Courtenay Monfore | Mar 2, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Brainspotting, Therapy, Trauma
Feeling your feelings is one of the healthiest things you can do. At any age, in any life stage, you can change. Whether you’re 77 years old or 17, you can learn, grow, adopt new habits, and make new choices to create a life you truly love. It may not always feel that...
by Courtenay Monfore | Feb 24, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
There are few situations in life as disappointing as realizing that the person you’re with is just not right for you. It’s hard to wrap our heads around, but it’s very common to feel emotionally attached to someone, strongly attracted to them, but...
