by Courtenay Monfore | Apr 12, 2021 | Anxiety, Blog, Trauma
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene Sometimes people can be really terrible to themselves and relentlessly compare themselves to other people, no matter how many times they read or hear about how good enough or lovable...
by Courtenay Monfore | Feb 8, 2021 | Blog, Trauma
Our brain’s ability to process information and adapt effectively is dependent on a number of factors, including genes, nutrition, and life experiences. These life experiences wield particular influence over the brain during a few sensitive periods when our most...
by Courtenay Monfore | Dec 14, 2020 | Blog, Therapy, Trauma
Hope is important for resiliency. Here are ways to boost it. I’ve got the perfect four-letter word for the moment: Hope. Yes, it feels increasingly elusive—ten months into a pandemic, during an emotionally exhausting election cycle, as winter bears down. Yet hope is...
by Courtenay Monfore | Nov 23, 2020 | Anxiety, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
You’ll never reach your goals if you’re trying to be all things to all people. Over the years, I’ve seen countless people-pleasers in my therapy office. But more often than not, people-pleasing wasn’t really their problem; their desire to make others happy...
by Courtenay Monfore | Nov 2, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Trauma
How to dust off and move on. If there is one predictable thing in this life, it’s that you will be disappointed somehow. It can start young – your parents don’t parent well, your teachers are bullies in school, your friends turn on you for no reason – or it can happen...
by Courtenay Monfore | Oct 19, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Therapy, Trauma
Resilience is the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly...
by Courtenay Monfore | Sep 14, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Relationships, Trauma
The global coronavirus pandemic has created a new reality marked by grief and loss. Weddings, concerts, meetings, travels plans, school events, and more have been canceled in the wake of the virus. It has forced us to process both individual and collective grief in...
by Courtenay Monfore | Aug 31, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
1. The empath enters the relationship wanting deep, unconditional love. The empath is attracted to the narcissist, and feels their need for affection is being met even if the narcissist isn’t doing anything to develop the connection. The empath feels fulfilled and “in...
by Courtenay Monfore | Aug 24, 2020 | Anxiety, Blog, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma
Not long ago, I had a triggering conversation with my partner. Yes, that happens to therapists too. But rather than going in on him, I said, “I need time to process what I’m feeling.” At the time, I was not sure which one of my selves (the grown-ass-woman or the...
by Courtenay Monfore | Aug 3, 2020 | Blog, Brainspotting, Relationships, Trauma
You get upset. He blows up. She shuts down. The next day you can’t even remember why it bothered you so much. We’ve all been there, even therapists (we’re no more immune than anyone else). Here’s what I tell my clients about trauma and relationships, and the ways it...
